She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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