I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if only i could text you this smell
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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