Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
