I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
