We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
