Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
where are my eyebrows?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
