I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just invented taco cereal.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
