when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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