why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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