2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
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