Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just want to make out with him forever
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
