there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
