So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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