i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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