how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
