There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
