were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
