when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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