i would punch a child for taco bell
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you will always have a special place in my vag
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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