In the future we'll all be gay
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
im having a threesome with these popsicles
do herpes really smell.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize