Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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