At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
