i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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