can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
