Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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