you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize