I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
