called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
