ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
