I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
