i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
