haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
