i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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