Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
