His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
