Nicole vs. Life
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
