i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
