if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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