You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
