She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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