Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize