She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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