well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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