First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she looked like the before picture.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
