Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
