I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
