Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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