His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
