This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize