I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
