I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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