just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
