i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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