dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
