I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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