Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
