Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
