yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize