Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
