I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
