I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize