3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
