We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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