she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
