The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
