69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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