ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sorry about my life...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
