the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
