i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
